To all of you mothers out there.....

Alright, people, I'm not aiming for accolades and I get a little embaressed by all of them. We had a great week, but I felt strongly about doing some really fun things this week. All too often, this computer sucks me in (blogging is just one of them), so I have to really monitor myself and my time spent on here. I often feel like I don't do enough "fun" things with my kids. Yes, I give them love and hugs and I'm often "within their circumference" but I feel guilty about not being crafty or sit on the ground and play with them. I've realized I have to do that, but I also have to show them my idea of fun, which is going on adventures. That is how I know how to have fun with them. I wish I were better at some of the other things, and I try, but this week was about me getting that fun face time with them. Especially for Tyler who spends 35 hours a week at school away from me. You know, it really breaks my heart to have him gone. Not in a way that I'm moping around because of it, but because I realize that my FULL time is away from him. I'll never get that back. And I'm about to lose that with Matthew. Parts of me wants to homeschool them, but I don't because 1)I know what value they get in participating in the community, being taught by others, making friends, finding himself away from home and 2) I do not have patience for anything academic related. But I do miss him when he is away and get excited every day at 3pm to go get him. Not that I am playing with him a ton when he does get home (one of the things I am trying to do better at) but he is once again "within my circumference." So I need to take advantage of the school days off and make them fun. Hopefully to give my children fun memories, even if our day to day isn't as much. I got the trampoline with money that I've saved that I planned to put into my business, but I've instead decided to halt my business for a while. This trampoline is like starting anew for me. I will look back at the time we got the trampoline as a time when I decided to make some changes in my life. Changes for the better of my family. So I really hope that nobody breaks their neck on this, because then I'll feel like I have no intuition at all.

I was chatting with a few friends about 3 weeks ago and I asked them to help me make a list of what makes a "good mom." That is a phrase that is often heard, but not fully understood...not even by me. It's so multi-faceted. I mean, many famous people take their kids to travel the world and many exotics locales, but does that make them good parents? We don't really know. I've wondered if I am a good mom, and doubt myself a lot. Yes, playing with your kids is good, but there are so many other things that factor into that definition. When I felt guilty for not "playing" and I read this list, I did feel better about a lot of the other things I was doing. I did not contribute to this list, this is all from 4 friends in this discussion with me, but I put my stamp of agreement on all of them. So feel free to copy this list, assess for yourself how you are doing and re-evaluate if you need to, or pat yourself on the back if you need to. I know I will refer to this often. We are all tryin our best, and I think we ALL feel guilty too much.
Special thanks to Emily, Amy, Linda, & Jen for contributing to this list....in no particular order.

A good mom:
-listens
-keeps her kids safe
-teaches kids how to be good members of society--helps them see needs of others, helps them to be aware of the world around them
-disciplines with respect
-provides well balanced nutrition
-plays with her kids
-reads to her kids
-takes care of herself--to set a good example for her kids
-a mom who is willing to try new things even if she fails
-doesn't compare her kids to other kids--especially when her own kids can hear
-doesn't behave differently in front of company
-it's obvious she loves and enjoys her children
-children feel safe w/ her even if they've made a mistake or done something wrong
-knows how to be silly and fun
-has a few strict rules and sticks to them
-teaches kids that working and helping out is just part of being a family
-lives the gospel conspicuously
-she's friendly with others and always willing to help (good example to children of how to treat others)
-allows and encourages children to make their own choices--sets boundaries and consequences but doesn't force
-sees each child as an individual--doesn't compare
-teaches children skills and characteristics to help them become independent
-She is not perfect but she tries
-She loves motherhood (and can appreciate the bad times as well as the good.)
-She loves her children and makes efforts to show them love and give sees the value in giving them quality attention
-Teaches them both of spiritual and secular
-Tries to be a good example (meaning she is aware of her children's presence not only in the room but in her life.)
-loves herself first. If mom isn't aware of her needs and willing to take time to fulfill them, she will become unhappy. Sometimes dangerously unhappy
-loves her husband. Mom can't be the best parent she can be without Dad. She should cherish time with him and spend time on their relationship. It's amazing how much better children behave if Mom and Dad love each other and them
-loves her kids. I was just thinking about this. I want to achieve the goal of ENJOYING my kids at least once a day. Sounds scarce, I know. But if I spend a whole day with my kids and only tolerate them, I didn't reach my goal. For me, the easiest way to enjoy them is to ask them questions and really listen to the answers
-teaches her kids good things. This involves giving time to her kids. I think if you devote time to your kids, you can't avoid teaching them positive things
-prays for her family Morning and Night.
-I'm sure there is so much more but sometimes I think it is really very simple too.