Panic Mode plus an update

I seriously don't know what we are going to do. The builder is trying to work with us to get us the lot, but I'm not really 100% sure I want it anyway. By the way, I thought I said this in the last post, but the builder said they are going to build the house on our previous lot anyway. So the Tree Nazi still gets the house, but not us as neighbors. Heh heh.

Now we are looking at the corner lot. It is plotted to face Sawgrass, but there is a big tree that we would love to keep and in order to keep it, we would have to face Desert Candle. Sawgrass has only 10 lots on it, only half have houses now. Desert Candle is a bit longer, but still pretty quiet. On the map below, it is right by where it says The Estates. Those lots aren't even for sale right now, but will be in the future. Even when homes are there, people would probably go the other way to get to their homes, not past the corner lot we are looking at. Its all preserved greenbelt back there, so no other homes would go up. It should stay a pretty quiet area.

The lot is more money because it is a corner, and I have to pay for the city sidewalk all the way around the corner--AND more fence to pay for. Not happy about that little tidbit. They said giving it to us for $8k more is their cost (who really knows if that is true). We figured out that $8k more is about $60 a month in the long run. Doesn't seem to bad, but we feel capped on what we want to pay and we won't even know our interest rates for a few months.

So besides the money factor, talk this through with me...why am I not loving it? We went out yesterday and I felt better about the idea of facing Desert Candle. Actually 2 different potential neighbors came out and chatted with us while we did some measuring around the tree. Michael secretly hoped no one would see us and talk to us, but the guys were friendly.

Bad angle, but the green space is the yard, and the red is where the house would sit. It has to be all the way to the left of the tree in order to fit and keep the tree. Our yard would be a bit "L."

Here is how I am stuck. Being a corner, the back of our home/yard faces the side of another home/yard. Out our back window isn't our backyard neighbors yard, it is the side of their home. Michael didn't think that is a big deal, and maybe it isn't, but those were my thoughts. Also, what would be our next door neighbor, they had 3 cars parked on their driveway in the afternoon (and did the other time I went by in the morning). If my kids are riding up and down the street, I want to be able to see them and I can't with cars on the driveway. Thats how it is now with our neighbors and its bothered me. Michael said we can't base a home purchase on that.

Also, I've been excited about the idea of kids on the street for my kids to play with (we don't have much of that now) and while we were there 4 boys were riding their bikes up and down the street. I should have loved that, but I panicked thinking I like my boys playing with each other and staying close to home and don't want to have to hassle with always being asked if they can play with the neighbors. But it is a quiet area, these kids were biking in the street, no big deal.

I LOVE the house, but now I'm also panicking with maybe I don't want to switch schools. I used to want a change, and I sorta still do, but I just can't decide!

We are at a point that we could back out with no penalties b/c of this situation, and it feels sortof liberating. And our house hasn't sold. We could take it off the market, get wood floor here, buy new furniture, save save save and maybe in a few years try this again?

But...no...this felt like the right timing. Tyler Will do 4th and 5th at the new elementary school and will have good enough friends to go to Middle School with. I don't want to move him in the middle of middle school. Now is a good time to start over if we are going to.

But we keep hearing from the kids...I don't want to move! I want a new house, but I don't want to move. I am so easily swayed but such statements and I feel sad. Michael reminds me that they will adjust well.

I want to start over, but I don't. Any suggestions? What about backing to the side of a neighbors house? It will be a big yard, bigger than our previous lot.

I'm just all over the place. We are supposed to go talk to the builder today (Saturday) to rewrite a contract, but I'm not sure what I want, so why would we do that?

Michael just told me the builder puts in trees for us...that could help with the house out my window scenario. I am feeling better just purging my thoughts. I think we will move forward.