Don't be wimps

I am often so concerned about updating my blog with the "goings on" that I don't get to write the random thoughts that occur in my brain. I've wanted to tell the stories of my kids and how they are becoming more independant. Not necessarily in ways I would like:) I have to remind myself that I'm not being mean, there are reasons why we do things, that we have the rules that we have. Sidenote: Our home teachers came over today, and I love how they now cater their lessons to the kids, but there is always something simple us adults can learn from the "simple" lessons as well. Brother Black talked about how he went home to Colorado and was impressed with his 2 teenage brothers. They are 13 and 15, and what good, good kids they are. He talked to his parents and asked them how and what they are doing for that outcome. They said simply: control the media they are exposed to. He gave several examples, but one that I liked was that they have to earn "media" time by doing something productive. Such as reading scriptures, playing basketball, piano, etc. In order to play the video games or watch tv, they needed to first do something productive for the same amount of time. As we are entering that phase more heavily, I liked that, and for FHE tomorrow night, we are going to talk about things they can do to earn that media time. A local church leader recently said, "Parents, don't be wimps when it comes to the strict rules regarding media." I think we want our kids to have fun and be involved and don't want them mad at us, that we give in. I know I have a challenging road ahead of me, in children that are becoming more independant, and wanting to do things their way, but I'll need to hold firm my ground. I want them to be good people. To be leaders, to be examples of goodness those around them.

My 4 year old challenges me now on the type of clothes she wears. My preference is to be more modest and wear shirts with sleeves. We have a few tank tops for her, but we usually put a white shirt underneath it. She now knows what I prefer, and she is constantly trying to go against that--just for the sake of going against me. I laugh on the inside, but I have to be firm on the outside. I have told her she can wear it at home, but when we have guests, or when we go out of the home she needs to put a shirt on. She has put a skirt on over hear head a few times and says, "Am I modest now?" The skirt lays on her shoulders like a shawl, and I say thats fine to wear, as long as it doesn't come off while we are out. She has also worn pants on her arms. I'm letting her do it her way, as long as she follows the rules I have set. It is pretty much a daily discussion though.


Positives with that, she sees books or tv shows and when the stomach or shoulders are showing, she is quick to say, "That girl isn't modest." I'm trying to teach her that others make the choices for themselves, and this is our family's choice. It's difficult to explain to her why its ok to be immodest with a swimsuit, but not with everyday clothes. She pretty much cycles the 3 tank shirts she has every 3 days and actually looks for the "immodest" shirt each morning. For those not of my faith and are confused, click here to see the For the Strenght of Youth Pamplet and click on Dress and Appearance.

My boys are such good boys. I saw Tyler hold a door open for a lady the other day at the store, and wait to make sure she got in ok. That made me smile. Grateful for his goodness. Matthew is so inclusive when it comes to others, it warms my heart. They both adore their baby sister--seriously adore her. But with Alyssa--they love nothing more than to hear her scream (and oh can she scream). Why??? I raise my hands and look up to the heavens...The teasing has begun, and I find myself gritting my teeth so much. I get angry. Mostly because I KNOW they KNOW better! That isn't who they are! It breaks my heart, but I realize it is a phase we are entering into. As we try regularly to counter their teasing, send them to time out, ask them to do a service for Alyssa to make up for their wrong, have discussions about kindness, we know it is almost a rite of passage for a child. Michael reminded me that my brother teased me, I teased my little brother, and he teased his siblings as well. Why did we do that? Why can't we all just get along? We are each others best friends, it just shouldn't be this way. It truly makes me sad. Fortunately it isn't all the time though. There are many sweet moments, but it just seems to be happening more and more.