Advice for new Moms

Both my sil, Kim, and my college friend, Alice, are expecting their first babies here pretty soon. Each of them asked me if I had any advice, and at the time I couldn't think of anything. But I've been writing down things as they come and wanted to make a post about it. For them, and anyone else interested. I can always use advice and I'm on my 4th. Feel free to add any thoughts that I might miss.

When I packed my hospital bag, all I really needed that first day was my camera. Once you walk in, you strip down everything you have on, and put on the gowns they offer. We live 5 minutes from the hospital, and I knew I didn't want to haul everything into the Labor and Delivery room. I actually packed a second bag that I sent Michael to get later (if you are further from the hospital, you can maybe leave bag #2 in the car). In the 2nd bag was pajamas for me and toiletries, and a baby outfit to go home in. I also had Michael bring me back a few more things that I realized I wanted after I was there.

Hospital:
Bring your own pillow/blanket. The first night, I tried to stuff the awful hospital pillows every which way and it just didn't work. I just like my own pillow and blanket. The 2nd night was much better because of this.

My fan--I like my white noise. Gotta have a fan where ever I sleep. The first night, it was complete silence in my room (baby went to the nursery) except for the TICK TOCK of the clock and muffled cries of the next door baby. It was not good. The 2nd night, with the hum of my fan, I slept pretty well.

The hospital has many free items that they may not tell you about. Unlimited juice and graham crackers (items may vary from place to place). You may need to ask for the free stuff like binky, thermometer, lanolin ointment. This last time, I actually had to ask for the binky on the last day. My baby didn't need it before and they didn't offer it. I would even ask "can I purchase another one" and they might give you a free one.

Take everything home...the diapers, the wipes, the pads, and ask for extra...they'll usually give it to you. I wore a nursing tank top in the hospital and kept by robe nearby because I went in and out of feeling really warm and then cold. I also got some cute pajamas to wear my 2nd day and take off the gown from the hospital.

Also, Michael goes home to sleep. He tried to sleep that first night in the hospital when we had Tyler and it was miserable for both of us. After that, he always went home. It was better for him to get a good nights sleep to help me better. I actually like that first alone time with the baby, too. All alone in the middle of the night, just me and my baby. I love having Michael there during the day, but with more kids, its become harder. We had enough friends helping out this time around that we got quite a bit of time with the new little bundle.

First week home:
I wore my jammies every day. I had stocked all I could drink apple juice and chocolate milk (my 2 favorites) and lots of easy to grab snacks such as the frozen PB&J sandwiches, eggo waffles, granola bars, etc. I have never experienced much in the way of the baby blues or post pardum depression, but I do see how that can happen quite easily. Hormones are all out of whack, extreme love, yet quite a bit of pain at the same time. It's easy to see how one can get frustrated with the baby because that is where the pain comes from. That first week, each time the baby latches on to nurse, there is pain (at least for me). And you gotta do it every 2-3 hours, it takes some mental preparation each time. "I can do this. It'll only last a few minutes." After the first week, when the pain is nearly gone, extreme love and happiness would flow from me at the opportunity to feed my baby. But for me, that first week of nursing--is tough. A bit of a love/hate relationship with that whole nursing thing in the beginning.

Sleeping:
It's the one question that I seem to get from everyone, "How is the baby sleeping? How are YOU sleeping?" With Tyler, I always slept when he slept. With Matthew, I could do it when Tyler was sleeping or when someone was awake with Tyler. It's harder to do with #4, but I've been grateful that Michael has taken over morning duty in getting the boys off to school. Alyssa is good to watch some cartoons while I sleep in a bit. This baby has been a pretty good night sleeper, but I think few tips that I've gotten better at through the years have helped. So this I share. It is no guarantee that abiding by these suggestions will help, but they won't hurt.

Swaddle the baby. They do it well in the hospital. Michael is a pro at it, but its been a tough one for me. I do ok. The point is to immitate the womb where they are all bundled in a ball. Keep their hands enclosed, etc. My friend gave us a cool swaddle blanket, and I seemed to get the knack down better this time.

We also have put on the hospital hat every night. Keeping the head warm and cozy. A friend lent us their wedge to sort of elevate the head slightly, like a pillow. Cali seems to really like this. Our looks like THIS but THIS also looks good. I also borrowed a bassinet which is nice right next to my bed. The binky stays in the corner.

Nursing:
After having a baby, this is what caused me the most pain...not "where the baby came out." Tears may be shed. With little Cali, it was the first time that I didn't cry because of the pain. It hurt, but I was able to combat the pain a bit with these here tips.

The first day is fine, but the 2nd day, it is helpful to have the wrap nursing bra on for support. I remember with Tyler, I was fine to be "free" in the hospital and just wear my gown. The 2nd day, my nipples were a bit sore and rubbed against my gown and that was very uncomfortable. Nice to have this area protected. You will be wishing there was a shield around them for the next week. Hug people gently. This time around, I also had a nursing tank top which I really liked. I wore it in the hospital and the first week to support "the girls."

Nipple Butter. My friend got me this stuff and I really liked it. Before, I just used Lansinoh and that was good, but it is quite thick and hard to spread on the "affected area" because it is thick. The butter is, well, butter-like. Smooth and easy to spread and helps heal that owy area that is cracked and bleeding. I have the 1 oz. and only used about half of it.

The boppy pillow is helpful, but I really only use it the first week. Maybe borrow from someone. The only time I use it now is when my older kids want to hold the baby, this helps lift her higher. I used the boppy in the hospital and it is especially helpful when using the football hold to nurse.

When Alyssa was born, I borrowed a super duper double electric breast pump from my friend. This really helped me, because I have a lot of pains due to engorgement. I've found not everyone suffers as I in this area (a lot of people are leakers and I'm not). I used other cheap pumps for Tyler and Matthew, and they just didn't work very well. Hardly got anything out. With Cali, I rented that similar super duper pump from the hospital. It is $25 a week, and I only used it for the first week and then didn't need it anymore. This helped me SO much! Wow, I think this is why I didn't shed tears this time around. I had so much excess milk that I pumped probably twice a day in the first week.

In between feedings, I iced my ladies. With each child I've heard different advice from other mothers, in calling La Leche Leage workers (yes, it got this bad), nurses at the hospital, etc. Some say to ice, some say not to ice, some say to heat, some say not to heat. The nurse at the hospital with Cali said something that made the most sense to me out of everyone I've heard. When you are engorged, your breasts are swollen as your ankle would be if you sprained it. You need to ice it to reduce the swelling. Many say icing it will stop the milk production, but probably only if you kept it on ice hour after hour after hour. I actually loved frozen peas in ziploc bags. I'd stuff them in my bra until they thawed (probably 20 minutes) and then pop them back into the freezer until next time. I'd do this just after nursing. Then just before nursing, if they are too hard for baby to latch on, put some heat on there to soften the area and get the milk to start flowing a bit (I have a rice bag that I microwave). My friend also gave me these Booby Tubes (doncha love the name?) to freeze or heat, but they didn't stay cold very long. Green cabbage is also something that really soothes. Just tear off a leaf and wrap it around your breast (cut a hole for the nipple). I don't know what it is, but it soothes. Some also say this stops the milk, but I just did it once or twice a day. Cold cabbage leaves...ahhhhh.

Many say they will never start the whole Binky debacle. But the fact of the matter is, babies have the need to suck in those early days. It just can't be you all the time. I'd keep it on hand. I find especially in the middle of the night if I just fed the baby an hour ago and she wakes, she just needs the binky (but I have to help by holding it in). Both Tyler and Matthew used a binky their first month of life, and then never again.

This brings me to the next question of nursing in bed. Co-sleeping? I'm not against it (though some are), it just isn't comfortable to me. After 4 children, I have never found a way to nurse and lay down and be comfortable. I do it sometimes when it seems worth it to strain my neck and head, over sitting up because I'm so tired. I'll often bring the baby next to me and hold the binky in her mouth to go back to sleep.

In the first week, it is important to move the baby around to nurse in different positions. I've had a blocked duct before and that isn't fun. Changing positions usually helps so that doesn't happen and your nipples don't hurt in one area by chaning it up. The football hold is a favorite of mine, though it is tricky to get the baby situated into it. With Cali, I had Michael, me, and a nurse helping to get her into position to nurse this way. Kinda funny, but helpful once you get there. It did become easier, I was able to do it all by myself later:)

After all the discomfort ends, nursing your baby often brings an immense amount of joy and almost giddiness (something about that let down) as the loves flows out along with the milk.

Drugs:

In the hospital, they offer the strong stuff, but I took vicoden once a while ago and got sick. I am just fine with Ibuprofen, but I like to stay on top of it and take it every 4 or 8 hours (depending on the dose amount). I could really tell in the first few days if the time had lapsed and I missed taking a pill. I did this pretty much the first 7 days after the baby was born and even wrote down each time I took it so I'd remember to take another 4 hours later. I am not a big pill popper normally, but this really helped me. A few times I took Ibuprofen and Tylenol alternating every 2 hours (when my neck really hurt in the hospital).

Things to purchase ahead of time:
Sleep nursing bra (looks like a sports bra)
Pads (you don't want to have to send hubby after them)
Undies (at least a 6 pack of big ole comfy undies)
Nipple Butter (smooth--like budda)
Nursing pads (for those that leak, or at least to hide the pokey nipple syndrome)
Nursing G's (love them, can't live without them)
Nursing bra (you'll have to guess a bigger size than you now wear)

Products I Love:
Don't like diaper rash ointments, but I LOVE Johnson's Baby Powder, Medicated with Aloe and vitamin E. Ointments will often work, but I've found it just makes the area more moist and takes longer to heal. Baby powder dries up the irritated area and this stuff also has aloe to soothe (just noticed they have other kinds in the powder now).
Huggies wipes I feel are the best and most durable. I can use just one of those for changes whereas other brands I may need 2. I'll buy one set in the box and then buy the refill bags.
I am usually fine with generic brand diapers. Several people gave me Pampers Swaddlers for the newborn, and say they love them.
Johnson's Head to Toe baby wash in the pump. We use it for our big kids, too.

Long winded, as usual, but I hope this helps. Babies are SO wonderful, and you will love to just stare and cuddle and kiss them. My little one is now 3 weeks and is growing before my eyes. The pain is all gone now, and now I can hardly even remember it was there.

P.S. Make sure that your husband feels needed. Let him do things like change diapers, clothes, bath, etc. It's hard for them that they can't feed the baby due to nursing. Some even introduce a bottle early on, I've never been good at that. Just make sure he feels included.