I had an epiphany I thought I'd share

I was driving really late last night following Michael in his car and the kids were asleep in my car. It was about a 2 hour drive, but I just don't do well driving. Something about the hum of the road just makes me sleepy and I lose it. Because of this, Michael usually does the majority of our driving on long trips while I talk or read to him, inbetween my cat naps. But last night I had to buck up. We were in San Antonio, and because he had joined us at our reunion a few days after we got there, we had 2 cars. I was more tired than usual because of all the activities of the week, sun, and swimming that morning. I tried to occupy my mind by singing or phone conversations, but my throat was really dry from a cold and I didn't have a drink. My mind wandered to the fun activities of the week and all the things we did (of course you all know that will be highlighted later with many a pictures).

Its interesting having conversations with siblings who grew up in the same house as you, but after marrying another (who obviously grew up in a different house) and through their own adult decisions, make different choices. Not bad choices, but different. It was fun to have conversations, but to tread lightly on each of our different ideas on things. I had a similar conversation with The Claytons a few weeks ago that has really got me thinking. We talked about how people outside of our church see "mormons" as being very similar, with strict beliefs. But once we have been members, we see that there really are many different "degree's" of Mormonism. Not even necessarily between good and bad, but how each of us is able to make different decisions for us and our families that may vary from what that in another family does. So having conversations with my siblings is just fascinating, considering that we came from the same home and I would expect us to have the same ideals, but we don't necessarily on everything. I also enjoying talking to others to see how they choose to live, because inevitably we think differently on some topics, while the same on others. This isn't just one 1 or 2 topics, but hundreds of things. From what Sabbath activities we choose to the food/liquids we consume to the books we read to the places we go to the way we raise our children and speak to them. Many different choices, many different degree's.

For example. I love my People magazine. Some may say that is smut and I shouldn't be reading that. But I honestly and truly and completely do not see anything wrong with it. Yes, I should be reading my scriptures first to give me my daily spiritual nourishment, but after that, in my opinion, its ok to enjoy the lives of others that I don't even know, but am fascinated by. But I realize this is my opinion as the spirit speaks to me and others may view it differently, as the spirit speaks to them.

I've always had some frustration when it came to Adam and Eve and understanding why it was that our Heavenly Father gave them 2 very distinct charges that comepletely contradicted each other. One was that they were forbidden to eat of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil, while the other was to multiply (have children--which they couldn't without partaking of the fruit). They knew they couldn't do both. They had to choose.

Then as I thought of my week and an activity that I so thoroughly enjoyed, yet I know there are people out there that would be disapproving. I analyzed before, during, and after this event and was keenly aware of how the spirit was speaking to me, and felt completely ok with being there. But I do understand that others can view this event and decide not to be there, while I viewed the event and felt good about being there. According to each of us...how the spirit speaks to us. I wondered to myself, "how is it that others see this event as not right, while I see it as just fine?" Then I thought of all the other intricacies of how we are so different and view life so differently and its ok that one person thinks one thing isn't ok while the other person see's it as just fine. WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT! Well of course, but how can one thing be "right" for one person and "wrong" for another person. I want everything to be black and white, and I've had the epiphany that it doesn't all have to be (yeah, maybe I'm late in the game). I have been instructed by prophets and apostles as to what is black and white, while all the others things, I have to choose for myself and my family according to how the spirit speaks to me. Just because one person see's something in the "gray area" as black doesn't mean it's wrong for me to see it as white...and vice versa.

So because we have chosen as parents to only watch church movies on Sunday does not mean that we view or see others as making "wrong choices" by watching television on that day. Because I think its just fine to read my People magazine, I do understand why others may choose not to read it. I grew up in a home where the caffeinated drinks flowed freely. Michael grew up in a home that it was prohibited. We became adults, got married, made our own choices for ourselves and our families. It was fascinating to me to have a respectable conversation with my siblings, their spouses and my parents. Between the 10 of us adults, we each view this topic a bit differently and that's ok. We can love and respect each other despite having different feelings of passion (oh you know there is a lot of passion on this one) and realize that "to each his own." This was a good thing for me to experience.

Back to my event.....We have 2 charges that come from our church leaders to "Stand in Holy Places" as well as "Live in the World but not be wordly." These 2 charges often seem to counter impose each other. Make good choices, despite our surroundings. We are asked to live our lives and choose the things we do with our lives and live according to the spirit, which is guided by the Holy Ghost. You'll just have to stay tuned to see my "fun event" that others might not agree with:)

On a completely different note, I'll end with....
"Farewell 29, you've been good to me, even though I've not liked you. I will always look back to you with fondness. Much much fondness."